Prejudice...

Recently we watched the much-talked-about movie, "The Help."  I'm not big on going to the movie theater, nor is my husband, so we enjoyed viewing  it on a new dvd in the comfort of our own living room. I'd heard many comments and critiques on the film, so I expected it to be a good watch. I wasn't prepared, however, for the emotions I felt while sinking into the depths of the story.

I found myself on a roller coaster. Anger grew in me with the treatment the help endured at the hands and mouths of the snotty, wealthy, employers. Yes, I know....it was 'like that' in the fifties and sixties in the south.  I took all of that into consideration, but still, my ire was real. No one should have had to endure such degradation because of the color of their skin.

Tears fell when lies were invented in order to cause a loyal housemaid to lose her job.  Watching a child beg her only loving care-giver to stay, when the woman was dismissed, broke my heart.  Knowing a husband was physically abusing his wife was disturbing to me. Retaliation by the other-wise placid workers made me laugh. And....I applauded the bravery of the domestic workers, as well as the writer herself, for their courage in telling their stories in a day when so much was at stake.

Having been born and reared in a small, northern town, I grew up and went to school with a group of children...the majority of whom were born and reared there as well. There was a small percentage of African American students, the children of those whose parents attended school with my own mother and father. We all knew each other. We all got along. I don't remember any racial trouble among us. In fact, the first I remember hearing of  discrimination was in the sixties, when the race riots were taking place in Birmingham and Selma, Alabama, and the killing of Medger Evans took place in Mississippi.  The whole idea that people were being treated in such a manner was appalling  to me. I felt so strongly about the subject, I used the topic for my term paper for history class. It was truly a heartfelt project for me. I needed to get out what I felt, and the result was a very good grade...probably the highest I'd ever earned, especially in history class.

I still feel strongly about discrimination. I don't care whether it's aimed at those who are from a different country, skin color, or any other reason. It, to me, is equal to the bullying of one child against another in school, but far more ridiculous because it is adults who are so narrow-minded and hurtful.

I realize that it was fictional film, however, it held more truth in the story than most of us would want to admit. Never have I been so enraptured by a movie. I'm sorry that this story HAD to be told, but I'm glad that it was, because  it sparked the thoughts in me that have been somewhat docile lately. It has prompted me to remember..... we're all here, sharing the same terra, breathing the same air, and biding our time. Let's all try to be a little kinder to each other.

The Mind is....

a curious thing.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The brain is a  rather small organ with many parts that have different functions. I'm not going to get 'all scientific' on you, because I don't really know much about it, really.  I do, however, know that it's a pretty remarkable little thing.

It has the ability to wake you up and get you moving. It has the capacity to stop your physical and mental movement, as well, given the right circumstances. (or should I say 'wrong' ones?) It remembers the things you've learned in life, and has the ability to let things of lesser importance to slink back and sit on a shelf somewhere where we can't locate it again.  The brain can help us to think of new things and remember old memories.  It can be enhanced by practicing what we know, routine and exercise. While we can remember every detail of a teen prank, we can forget/ before we enter a room, why we were going there.

What surprises me is how the mind has the ability to create and dream up things, all on its own.... as in dreams in slumber. We have no way of directing those things while we sleep....they seemingly just come along and take off on their own.  Take, for example, the scene that played behind my eyelids this morning as I slept.  It's a bit of a jumble, but it seems that a friend of ours was babysitting for my granddaughter, who was catching fairies on the end of a teaspoon. The next thing I knew, I was watching for a dark pick up truck, and about to encounter a meeting with Chuckie Maresca and some of his daughters, when we would run into each other at the Long Island Fair. Now, you don't know 'Chuckie', and I don't either, really, having not seen him or heard from him since I was seven years old!
I've not given him more than three thoughts since then, and those were just memories of our antics as grade schoolers. That is what amazes me. Why would my mind drag a childhood name from the archives, and grow him into a man with daughters, all of whom I'd run into at a fair I've never once attended? 

The brain, with all of its workings and wonders, is a wonderful mystery to me. With all the happy memories,  the unpleasant ones,as well, the lessons learned, and the many other things it holds, I truly enjoy the creative activity that it shows me. I'll never understand it....but I do enjoy it!

Waiting...AGAIN.

It seems like I'm always waiting for something.  Most recently, I was waiting to dismantle the Christmas decorations and get them all put away. What was I waiting for? Well, my husband who was aka Santa to many little people, and bigger people, for over 25 years, happens to love to stretch the season for as long as he can get away with it. So, patiently I waited, sneaking down here a wreath, there a nativity, hoping he would tire of the tree in the corner. And then....I got sick for  a week. 

So, currently, there is still the huge tree in the living room, and a smaller one which was in the sunporch, to unclothe.  I did undecorate the kitchen one and pack those things up, but the sunporch is full of odds and ends of garland, lights, and boxes in which to pack the Santa collection, the snow men, and all the ornaments. Waiting.

Some time ago, I wrote that there was a lovely group of ten women who had responded to my invitation to create a circle letter. The first complete round went quite well. I received the envelope full of their letters within a fairly short time. I wrote my second letter and mailed the envelope of mail out to the woman who followed me on the list. That was in May. It is now January 12, and I'm still waiting to read the other women's second letters. I'm quite a patient woman....really, I am.... and I understand how some things can get in the way of life. But I also think that when you know there are people waiting for you, for any reason, if you can't do what is expected, that you should be considerate enough to communicate the problem to your friend(s).  At this point, I'm very disappointed in this letter business, and am considering bowing out of the group. 

I really hate to wait for long periods of time. When you make an appointment, is it unreasonable to expect to have the other party (ie doctor, hair stylist, etc) service you within fifteen minutes? When you place an order with a wait person, is it beyond reason to get your meal in a timely fashion?  I don't think so.

Sometimes a wait provides you with a pleasant diversion from something else, but rarely.  Most of us have schedules that demand us to be on time somewhere else. Children need to be picked up from school on time, employees need to be at their jobs when the boss deems it, others expect us to be where we are supposed to be.

This, of course, may be my own quirk, but I don't like causing other people annoyance or inconvenience, and I don't enjoy waiting....at all.

I'd Like to Move It, Move It...

This morning, I was engaged in a conversation with a friend about today's kids and their technical abilities. It just overwhelms me.

With all the talk from medical people and others in the know about our over-weight children, one would think that eyes would be opened wider as to why.  Our kids spend the majority of their time in front of one screen or another all day and evening.  Their 'recreational' time is spent playing video games, their conversational time is interrupted by texts from other friends, their family time is spent in a room full of others on computers, phones, kindles, nooks, ipods, etc. I have no qualms in saying how annoying this can be to those who desire to talk with them. 

In no way does this apply just to children. We are all guilty of spending too much time on keyboards, staring blankly at screens. (I wonder what it's doing to our eye sight?)  It does seem, however, that kids are more interested in the technical stuff than in spending time outside, enjoying some physical activity, or even in playing with toys of any kind. Technology IS their toy of choice.

I know there is some educational value in the "plugging in" to computer games and other electronics. SOME is the key word, I think, and as in all things, it depends on how you use an item as to how much real value that item will be to you.   WII Fit was a good idea, having been the brainstorm to get 'dormant' people up and moving again. Still, for those who are able, I don't think there's anything as beneficial as going outside in the sunshine, running around, and being a real kid! 

Where is the room for imagination? Everything is thought out for today's kids. Perhaps that is the reason that movies today are mostly (poor) remakes of great old ones. No one has the ability to think up new things. How sad.  I wonder what kind of books (to never be put on paper, but rather published to some electronic thingamabob) will be put out in our future?

I know that I'm also 'dormant'...not so much by choice, but because of a hip/back situation. I long to be more active, to dance and be able to walk longer. I love to see kids doing what I can no longer do.  I'm also a 'fossil' and I believe in the provision of toys that inspire some creative thinking. Paper and paints, and clay for art projects and crafts, dolls, tea sets, dress up clothes for role playing, interactive board games for sociability. These are all 'sit down' types of activity, for quieter indoor play, but there are bikes, hula hoops, soccer balls, and the like for outdoor activities. I love to encourage hop scotch and team games and races. One of the older grandchildren is a first year cheerleader, so I asked to see all of her  routines...it got her away from her cell phone/computer and up and moving!

All that being said, it's time for me to get up and moving. I think I'll see if I can stretch and wiggle a little. After three days of being sick, I can use it....even if it's just a little.

Another Thing To Do...

Uhoh...I've just discovered another way to spend time by myself....aka another excuse for not getting something accomplished.  It's called "Words With Friends". It's a game, similar to Scrabble, which I love. Words and I have always had a 'thing' for each other, and I can play this quite well. 

I'm not sure that there is any valid excuse for playing games instead of getting something done, but if you believe psycologists and the like-minded, older minds should be active, doing crossword puzzles, etc. in order to slow the aging process. So, let's chalk up this game...and Text Twist 2 to that endeavor, shall we?

Seriously, I do get things done. Perhaps not as much as I'd like, because I need some more muscle than I am capable of using, and sometimes that isn't available to me without pleading, begging or nagging. I figure it's going to get done, in due time, so unless it's a immediate emergency, why turn myself into a whip-weilding wench, demanding that a job get done 'right NOW!'  My husband keeps himself busy, and is a very giving and caring soul  who does a lot for me and my Mom,  who worked all of his life and is now retired. He doesn't need to spend his retirement years dealing with a  wretched wife. So, as I say, unless it has immediate need, I mention the job, and we get to it 'eventually'.

So...in the time I spend NOT being that wretched wife, we spend time together enjoying ourselves. Sometimes we spend time alone...he reads voraciously... educating himself, or just enjoying his books. I spend time on my crafts, my computer, and now with some of these games.  We are each happily ensconced in our pleasures of Senior Living.

Unless we take up swimming at the 'Y' or begin Yoga classes, we may not be in the best of physical shape when we leave this earth, but we'll both be happy...and hopefully with brains kept in tact by the exercising of them with reading and word games!

A Book?

His blog said, "I'm just an average Joe"....and I thought when I read that, "what a wonderful opening line" for the book he was speaking about writing...or not writing. I could totally understand the 'yes, I might...no, I can't' thinking about composing such a work.

For years, probably since I was a teenager who wrote sloppy love poems with some truth and some fiction involved, people who have read my words have suggested that I put them  together in a book form. It appears that many can relate, in some way, to the feelings evoked by the words I put into prose or poetic form. Someone once told me that my words touch places in the heart that everyone feels. I suppose that's why some authors and poets make a great living at their craft, but there are also many out there that people just 'don't get'. That's why there's a popular term for them....'starving artists.'

Perhaps the reason I've never laid it all out there and put those feelings into the hands of the public is that I don't believe in myself enough. Or, maybe it is that I'd rather keep some of those feelings in some private place, allowing only those I trust with my emotions to read them. Then, of course, there is the fiction that has been injected into much of my writing. That needs to be considered, because if it is taken as fact, there could be judgement cast upon my character....or my sanity....depending upon what is being read and who is reading it.  There's also the issue that was brought up by my blogger friend...whether I have anything interesting to write about. That may be the most crippling of all excuses for not writing a book for public consumption.

After all...."I'm just an average Joe...."

A New Year...A New Day...A New Beginning

As the New Year approached, I began to think of things I might want to change during the coming days.I focused on my home...ideas I'd like to accomplish in the rooms, one by one. But as I attempted to create these visions in my mind, other things kept pouring into my head...fast and furiously.

I realized that I'm really quite content with my home, and my life. That doesn't mean that changes won't come.  Things constantly change in our lives, sometimes by our choice and sometimes without a choice.
It occured to me that we all  need changes, in order to grow in various ways.

Sometimes we see things in ourselves that we don't care much for. Those things need to be examined and altered to be more what we'd envision ourselves to be. It's not always easy to do that, but in reality, our lives most often bring a series of things that would inspire us to grow to be better people. I realized in all this time of reflection, that we have opportunities each minute to make changes for the better.

Whenever we find ourselves faced with decisions, we make a choice. Whenever there is a fork in the road, we find we must choose one over the other. Sometimes we make the right choice, sometimes we don't. We always have a chance after making the first choice, to decide that it might not have been the best one, and we can change our minds and choose another option. However, we must realize that every choice brings it's consequences and/or its rewards. Even if we realize a mistake was made, and turn to a different decision, the effects of the first choice may follow us for a time.  When given the chance, it's a good idea to put a lot of thought into things before we make a decision. I've learned from experience that it doesn't hurt a bit to try to see into the future, to predict what result any decision might bring with it. Of course, there's no telling what tomorrow will bring, but a little forethought is never a bad idea.

So here we are, folks...faced with a New Year....a New Day....a New Beginning. This year will bring many, many choices and decision-making options. May we all dip deep into our wells of past experiences and those of others who've walked the paths before us, and draw up buckets of smart thinking. May we find ourselves a little wiser in the days ahead than we were in the days past. 

Happy New Year, my friends!