Wednesday, April 8, 2009


The other day one of my friends told me that she could never feel the same intensity of love for her grandchilden that she felt for her children. I don't know about that, as I have no concept of measuring love.

I remember when I gave birth to my first child, I thought I could never love that hard again. It seemed impossible. When I had my second child, I discovered that I was wrong, for love flooded me when I looked into my tiny son's face. When I had my third child, concerned that there wasn't enough love to go around, my little son asked me if I still loved him. My answer was "Of course I do! Mommy's heart is full of love, but the best thing is, when a new person comes into our lives, it's almost as if God builds another room love on to my heart and He fills that one up with love too. There's lots of love for everybody!" It seemed to relieve his worries.

When my first grandchild arrived, I was so proud, so happy, and so washed over with a new love. I felt the same way with the arrival of each one of them. I have learned that there is no worry about a quenching of love, or of having to divide it up between the children. There's no way to know if my love for my children was/is greater than that for my grandchildren. They have all been special!

I will say that I enjoy the company of my grandchildren, en mass or individually. Sometimes they tire me, but that's because my energy level is far less than it used to be. They don't seem to mind, and I don't mind that they have more energy than any three people my age! They are children, and they need to expend their energies in constructive and child-like ways. They are such fun to watch, and I spend a good deal of time using my smiling muscles.

People have said that they're happy to see 'the last hiney go out the door' after a visit. I admit that I'm usually ready to put my feet up and relax, but I also miss the sound of little voices and the stories and laughter they bring. It takes me a little while to get used to them not being here.
I miss them when they're gone.

Fortunately, four of my own seven grandchildren live within two hours of us, and we see them fairly often, either at our home or theirs. Two others live 900 miles from us, and they come each summer for a month or more. They are enormous fun and very independent little ladies. They're helpful and do their chores without complaint. One is very much a mini-me, loving to craft with me and to talk. The younger one is more active, more of an outside-lover and is her Papa's little helper in the garden. My other grandson is a teenager, has lived in a variety of places since his Dad is in the military, and we have not spent much time together since he left the East Coast. It saddens me because I hardly know what to say to him, not knowing him well at all. I love this young man, but he is not a good correspondent, nor are his parents.

I do not spend time comparing the feelings I have for my children vs my grandchildren and weighing and measuring the love for each. All in all, I believe that love comes exactly when you need it and in exactly the correct measurements.

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