Monday, February 21, 2011

I Want to Fix It....

When there are hurts in the lives of those I love, I just want to fix things. When the kids were small, and they got a splinter, I'd remove it and kiss it, put a bandaid on it, and it was over. Skinned knees got some silly picture painted with mercurchrome, maybe added a bandaid and a kiss to the forehead, and life went on, uninterrupted.

Adult hurts aren't as easy to fix. Sometimes I see people who are so far in debt that they couldn't dig their way out with a bulldozer. That is, perhaps or perhaps not, their own doing, but still they are suffering, and I want to find a way to help. A hug won't do it. A whole lot of mind changing and work might, but it will take time. If I handed them every cent that would erase their money problems, would it help? No, I don't think so. It would be a temporary fix, but wouldn't have taught them to make better choices.

When I hear of a friend who is plagued with one medical situation after another. When it keeps them from socializing, or keeps them house bound, it makes me want to take it all away from them, so that they can live a normal life without those restrictions. But, what can I do? There is no way I can heal them of their ailments. I feel helpless....and other than to pray, I know of nothing I can do to lift that load from them.

Burdens are in every life, I guess. Divorces, relationship issues, things of that nature surely cause hurt. Heartbreak is the worst, I think. Watching one you love suffer through a broken heart tends to break my own. Changes are to come, and unknown futures cause worries and wonders. I want to offer support and help and a comfy 'place to fall'. It never feels to me as if it is enough. I am once again rendered helpless to help. I want to scoop that loved one up in my arms and let them know how worthy they are of all love and acceptance, just the way they are. But it's hard to do that with an adult friend or relative. Words, though heartfelt when offered, may not penetrate the hearer's ear when they need it most.

If I've learned anything as I've aged, it is that I cannot always fix everything. There are things in this world that happen that bring me to tears. There are tragedies, fires, agonies brought by hate...or by love... that are huge. My empathy, my compassion, my wishes to fix people's hurts is beyond my ability to heal these aches. And so, I offer what I ear, my understanding, my hugs, my thoughts and prayers. What more can I do?