Friday, July 8, 2011

Uninvited Guests

Yesterday was a rather interesting one. I was visited by two uninvited guests.  Well, one has been here in the house, actually for several weeks, but I just that afternoon discovered that he was here.

You see, a few weeks ago, we brought in some hanging potted Fuscia, some unplanted Hollyhocks and a small tray with small pots of Mums in it. Because we wouldn't be home to water them, we determined that the best idea was to bring them inside and put them in our master bathroom. (After all, we do have a 'garden tub'.)  So, we did just that, after putting  a few inches of water in the tub, we placed all of the plants into the 'pond', and let them be.  We never use the tub to bathe in, as we prefer to use our large, separate shower...and knowing that we'd be returning to my daughter's house again next week, when we got home from our first visit, we didn't rush to take them out of the tub. there I was, standing there in my towel, having just finished my shower in preparation for going out to run errands.  I happened to look in the tub at the plants, thinking I might add a little water. Suddenly my eye caught something brown...something that I hadn't seen before.  There in the center of one of the full, lush Fuscia baskets was a big, fat, stinkin' hop toad!  Still in my towel, I ran to the kitchen to inform my husband that I needed!  He could tell from my tone of voice that something was urgent, and he came quickly. I told him to look in the tub...and then had to actually tell him what he was looking for. (He probably thought I'd found a snake, in which case, I'd have had to dress and call an exterminator, as Mike would have been barefootin' it up the road, screaming, "Feet, don't fail me now!")

I was fearful that the toad would jump out of the plant and end up hiding out somewhere in the house. When Mike picked up the dripping hanging basket and headed for the front door, he sheltered the toad with his hand, which wasn't entirely successful because the poor spotted thing was hopping about in the foliage, trying to hide from him.  I ran to open the front door, following the inevitable stream of water from the bathroom, across the bedroom carpet, down the hall, and then across the wood floor  in the living room, to the door.  Tell-tale bits of plant were evidence, too, of the traveling. A little clean up is well worth the disappearance of that little guy....(unless he was a she and might have left eggs somewhere in the bathroom. No...I won't borrow that trouble.)

Ten minutes later all plants and Mr Toad were outside on the porch, in the shade. Of course, all of them might not survive, now that they've accustomed themselves to inside temperatures which are twenty degrees lower than daytime temperatures are in the great outdoors....but, so be it. At least there's not a reptile living in my bathroom, or elsewhere in the house.

You might think that's the end of the excitement for the day, but not so!  We finally got ourselves in the van, with the windows open because we haven't had the AC fixed in it yet. So, we were cruising along, when I suddenly felt something hit my shoulder, just near the tank top strap.  I didn't feel anything for....4 miles or so. Then, I thought I felt something move on my back...inside my shirt. I shook my shirt, but didn't know if anything was there or not.  Another mile or so, nothing...when suddenly, about two inches below my too-loose waistband, I felt movement again. I screamed and said, "something is in there!"  Mike tried to look, when we stopped at a red light, but he couldn't see, as the darned thing had made it's way south  and was crawling down my fleshy bottom...EEK!  Apparently I'd given it access when I tried to get Mike to see if he could see it, by pulling the elastic on my panties away  from back. 

This was NOT funny!  I didn't know what on earth was crawling around inside my clothing, or whether he'd had lunch yet. So far, he hadn't tasted what might have been, for him, an All You Can Eat buffet...and I hoped he wasn't hungry.  My beloved Knight in Shining Armor pulled over into the hospital parking lot, and parked into a space far from sight of other cars. He told me to see about getting that bug out of there. So... I shimmied out of my jeans... and I lowered the panties 'til the darned bug fell out. Where it went after he left me, is beyond me...nor did I care much. I'm sure the bug, which was black and as big around as the end of my pinkie finger, was as anxious to be set free as I was to free him!  I quickly covered my birthday suit with my clothing, opened the van door and got out to stand in the parking space next to the van. I shook the pants legs...I smashed my hand up and down my lower body. I just wanted to be sure I was alone in my clothes!

Boy!  All this company was just a little too much excitement for this old gal~